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舊 2010-02-12, 12:25 AM   #3 (permalink)
grc45
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預設

以上是篇災難性的破文章,就算是口喻或便條紙的交代,此寫法程度只有小學一年級的水平﹗

以下是上班時間,再度破例發文;若我十二點回家後,已是台灣的午夜後,故予造次。

我實在搞不懂用縮寫的用意為何?更難以想像主詞動詞都會搞錯,介詞更慘;這比未上學的孩童都還不如﹗

原文

It is a very urgent issue. We noticed that some reporters and personal investigaters have disclosed ptcs regarding the property
in Virginia and the basic info of Pegasus Virginia LLC, in the news

What is the beneficial owner of the company?
Is there any our personal names or any personal info under the company?
Can they get any info about the company?
The current situation is that they are chasing this matter by any means even illegal
Please make sure that they are unable to find any further info about us through the company
If anyone comes to your or Mitch's office any time, please answer "no comment"

批改

It (This) is a very urgent issue. We have noticed ( have + noticed 為現在完成式,漏用了 have 就代表連英文的門檻都沒踏入,因為那是英文與中文完全不同的地方) that some reporters and personal investigaters have ( + publically) disclosed ptcs (practices - 慎重文章書寫時禁止使用縮寫) regarding the property
in Virginia and the basic info (information) of 應改為 about Pegasus Virginia LLC, in the news(此標紅句,狗屁不通﹗畫蛇添足,故予以句點終結。)


What (Who) is the beneficial owner of the company? What 指的是事物而不是人,用Who才是在表明the beneficial owner


Is there(Is there應去掉,改用Have才對,Have.............been any our personal names or any (any 後要加 of ,那是中文語氣而非英文的﹗) personal info under(info under應改寫為如後的紅字) information been disclosed by the company?


Can they get (應用 obtain,因為寫與說在用辭上是不同的﹗) any info (information 才對,這又不是在MSN Messenger 上談天﹗) about the company?

The current situation is that 此句為中文語氣,應與後句合併修改為(They currently pursuing) they are chasing- 語氣與在玩家家酒的沒兩樣﹗ this matter by any means (+ necessary.) (+ Some are) even (using) illegal (+methods.)


Please make sure (make sure 應改為 ensure ) that they are unable to find (+ out) any further info (information) about us through the company (應加句點.完成該段的語氣﹗)


If anyone comes (+ in) to your (連 office 這個目的地都可以省略,真是佩服﹗)or (+ into) Mitch's office(加介詞,並去除後面的贅辭 any time) any time, please answer "no comment" (應改為 please do not speak to them. ) 這又是中文語氣 - 半調子的英語 - 不是英文﹗

寫的實在是太爛了;頭痛萬分後的改寫﹗

This is a very urgent issue. We have noticed that some reporters and personal investigaters have publically disclosed practices regarding

the property in Virginia, as well as basic information about pegasus Virginia LLC.

Who is the beneficial owner of the company?

Have any of our personal names or personal information been disclosed by the company?

Can they obtain any information about the company?

They are currently pursuing this matter by any means necessary. Some are even using illegal methods.

Please ensure that they are unable to find out any further information about us through the company.

If anyone comes in to your office, or into Mitch's office, please do not speak to them.



.

此帖於 2010-02-16 02:23 PM 被 grc45 編輯.
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